"Emotion is the afterglow of thought."
-- Albert K. Strong
New: Audio version
[Classic post from 10-14-15]
Michael Jordan said, "If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome." I know that in recent years, I've not accepted the negative expectations of others much at all. I turn away if I am confronted with such, and run like hell. For me, it never was really the negative expectations of others that ever bothered me. Instead, it was my imagination of the negative expectations of others. That form of self-torture is insidious. I would run like hell from it too, but where do you run when it is coming from inside? Everywhere I might run, there it would be.
In years past, I used to have negative feelings about my imagined expectations of other people a lot. It didn't stop me from doing, but it wasn't any fun living with, that's for sure. Nowadays, I feel that so rarely because my main focus is on joy, but every once in a while, I'm feeling those kinds of feelings that my imagination has been tickling. Last night was one of those times.
One thing to do is to choose a little better feeling thought, then another and another until I move away completely. Sometimes that feels like a lot of hard work. Well, it's not really hard to think anything, but those negative thoughts seem to hold control. I have found that escaping from them is easier and works well instead of facing them and trying to work through it.
My escape choices are meditation, happy music, a funny YouTube video, go to bed, and more. They all work and depending on the time of day make more sense than other choices. So last night, I just turned off my computer and went to bed. It's rare that I'm not asleep in a couple minutes, so that is a fast way to let go of my consciousness for a while and allow myself to reboot. When I wake up, as I did this morning, I may remember it happening, but it has no power or acceptance. It worked perfectly.
It's pretty dang hard to escape from yourself. It's so easy to move away from others in comparison. So, if this ever happens to you, where you're sabotaging yourself with imagined scenarios that are self-destructive, my recommendation is to have a number of escape routes ready to move into quickly. You need a number because sometimes one is not working as well as it did last time, or the time of day dictates only certain options. And, of course, there is always the option of standing up to it and choosing better feeling thoughts. It really doesn't matter the choice, only that the choice is being made before the self-destructing thoughts and emotions get very strong. Action, of some sort, is required for health reasons.
Fighting It Is Not The Answer. What You Resist Grows. The Answer Is Always Letting Go Of The Rope.
Spread Some Joy Today--by getting excited about how much charge you have in your own life and circumstance.