"You're giving others too much power
as you even acknowledge how
they make you feel.
What you've got to decide
is how I'm going to feel."
-- Abraham, Esther Hicks
New: Audio version
[Classic post from 10-4-15]
Continuing on relationships. Being in love is a wonderful feeling, and when we leave that feeling up to the other person to create within us, well. . . this is the reason that it is so often short-lived I think. I now realize that doing that is just like how I talk about being a pinball in a pinball machine, totally dependent on the whims and desires of another.
We may often try to do the same with the other. We may try to create, or recreate situations that used to cause heightened feelings of love and now they may not work as well. This is due to the fact that we are trying to have that someone else to feel what we want them to feel and visa versa. That's a hit and miss affair (pardon the pun).
We give the other person too much power over us as we even acknowledge how they make us feel, or how we make them feel. Our feelings are our own. We create them. They are not created by others unless we really like being a pinball.
The better way I have learned is to choose to feel as I will by choosing my thoughts. If I want to feel love, all I need do is choose thoughts of appreciation. That has become my mantra so to speak. It has become my mantra because I have learned how to appreciate. I've learned to appreciate people, things, events, thoughts.
As I appreciate, I feel love. If I wanted to feel more love for someone, I simply find things to appreciate about them. If I want to feel more love within me, I simply find more things to appreciate right now, this moment. It doesn't really matter whether my eyes are open or closed. Either way, I can find things to appreciate.
When I am in that state, it doesn't matter what another or the other is feeling really, and I think you might find also, as I have, that as I am appreciating, I see only what I want to see and what I want to see exists. In other words, if you really wanted to change someone else's mood, attitude, or demeanor, by finding things to appreciate and focusing on that, they change to more match those thoughts.
Sometimes people struggle with issues between them that are weighing them down, and it feels like a separation. There may be anger, fear, disappointment, unhappiness going on and you don't know what to do to get back to love. I do now. Find things to appreciate right now and focus on those things. Then find more things to appreciate and more things and more things until you are on a rampage of appreciation even. I believe that it is then impossible to stay in that struggle, weighed down, and separation place. When we change, the world changes. When we change, others change.
And, It's All Because We Chose To Choose Our Thoughts. Amazing!
Spread Some Joy Today--by choosing to feel joy and then choosing to share it.