"The people in your life
will always give you
exactly what you expect.
-- Abraham, Esther Hicks
New: Audio version here.
[Classic post from 3-21-15]
This is a big Daily Inspiration because I have learned over the last few years one of the most important things I ever could ever have learned about relationships. When I speak of relationships, I am thinking personally about my late wife and other love relationships that I have had over my years; however, this applies exactly the same with any relationship. It could be a boss at work, a person you are doing business with, a member of a team, family member, whatever. It applies to any relationship.
I didn't learn it until I read about the Book of Positive Aspects from the book, Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks just a few years back, but it got my attention so perfectly, and I have now adopted it and use it all the time now in any relationship I might have.
Let's take a love relationship for an example. It is so easy to see things in another--their idiosyncrasies, their manner, the things that they choose to focus on again and again. As we take notice of these things, and when they are different than our own, it is easy to speak against them, whether right out, or as sarcasm, or as an example. I have done it for years and years. Not meaning to do harm, mind you, but it is not doing well either.
I always come back to the story I learned thirty or more years ago from Jim Rohn, that there are two ways to have the tallest building. One is to become known as a builder, and the other is only classified as a destroyer. We do this in relationships and don't even realize we're doing it.
Let me open this subject up with this quote from Abraham, Esther Hicks: "The Source within you only sees positive aspects in your partner, [or the other in a different kind of relationship] and whenever you are finding positive aspects, you are in alignment with who-you-really-are." The brackets are mine.
The Source within me, the God within me, Emmanuel, My Higher Self, or whatever name you might like to use, it's all the same. Our emotion is generated by our relationship with that inner Source. When we are in alignment, we feel good or positive emotions, and when we are out of alignment, we feel negative emotions to indicate to us that we are out of alignment with our greater knowing.
The Book of Positive Aspects is a tool to use to help us get back into alignment. I would have loved to have known more fully about it when I was twenty instead of so much later, but it's never too late to learn. It is a simple thing. Get a plain old notebook, spiral notebook, whatever, and write at the top: Positive Aspects of ________ and fill in the blank. In my case, it was Nancy when I first started this.
Then you just start listing the positive aspects of that person. Let your mind soar. Don't leave anything out however small it may seem. It is all-important. It can be physical aspects, mental aspects, spiritual aspects, their manner, how they talk, how they do things, etc. Just keep writing until you cannot anymore. Then tomorrow, do it again. Add to the list. Then tomorrow do it again. Add more to the list until you feel that you have a really full list. Then just reread it and focus on those positive aspects by giving praise and appreciation for them and how they are sharing those wonderful aspects in your life. Then, visit that list often.
It matters not at all that the other does this or even knows about this process. It only matters that you do it. Their faults are your own creation in your own head. They probably wouldn't even agree with you. It isn't about right or wrong, truth or not truth. It is all about you, how you feel about them. It has nothing at all to do with how they feel about you. This is a challenging lesson to learn.
It's not about what they are doing that irritates or upsets you, it is about what you are thinking and how different that is from the Source within you and that is what is causing any negative emotion, or the fact that you are upset, disappointed, or disagree with their position or their actions, or lack of them. It is all about you. As it was all about me. A hard lesson for me, but so worth it to learn.
Everything that has happened in my life is perfect, and I don't need to change anything, but if I were to change something, I would have begun using the Book of Positive Aspects sooner. Yet, I can now use it all I want because I now know it now and I know now how powerful this is. It is a complete game-changer as far as I'm concerned.
And the best news about this is how it will change you. You might think the other person changed, but it is more likely that your point of view changed. Your love will blossom. They will, in fact, respond differently to you. You will see positive changes. And, the main reason for that is that you are now focused on their positive aspects. It will help you develop more unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.
What's Right With This Picture? What Is Perfect About This Picture? What Is Wonderful About This Person? Let's See How Many Ways I Can Understand Them And Love Them.
Spread Some Joy Today--inside yourself. Let it all start within you.