"No matter how much fault
you find with another,
it will not change you."
-- Wayne Dyer
[Classic post from 6-18-14]
The more I learn, the more I see that there is nothing in another that I need to find fault in. I'm certain that I have plenty to go around. I have enough to share with others should they want some, but I don't think anyone is interested. Yet, no matter what I might find that I think is wrong with another person, I am still me. It certainly doesn't help. In fact, Wayne Dyer adds that "all blame is a waste of time."
Whatever my current outside circumstances, all my happiness and joy lies within me and not without me. I am constantly reminding myself now, catching myself mid-thought much of the time to turn that fault finding mission to praise and appreciation.
And, here is the most important thing: most of my negative thinking is me about me. It is me finding fault with myself. I don't need to find fault with others because I've done such a good job over the years of finding it in me. Strange but true.
The good news is that I've realized all of this, and I know how to turn it all around. The trick is to catch it quickly, let it go and choose a better feeling thought. Even if I am not paying attention to a specific thought, I have learned to pay attention to how I am feeling and often I realize that I am tensing up, or my stomach muscles are tightening, and little clues like that. As soon as I feel that, take a breath, choose something, anything in my view or that I can bring to mind to appreciate and be thankful for, and instantly I am back on target.
It used to be that I would have one negative thought, then another, and another, and they would build upon one another until I became upset, angry or just bummed. Now it rarely gets to that point. Awareness is power, and then I can choose better feeling thoughts, then more, and more. Circumstances do not guide my life, my choices do, and as long as I get to choose, I am going to choose to feel good.
No Matter How Many Praiseworthy Things I Find With Others, It Will Not Change Me. That's Because I Wouldn't Have Seen Them Without Changing Me.
Spread Some Joy Today--Praise yourself. Find praiseworthy things to recognize. Feel good about yourself, love yourself.