"Never underestimate your power
to change yourself;
never overestimate your power
to change others."
-- Wayne Dyer
[Classic post from 8-28-14]
I was talking with someone on the phone today and we had a lot in common, and it was suggested that I might talk to a friend of his to share some of my philosophy and help convince them to change their ways.
It has taken me most of my life to finally figure out the fantasy in this scenario. I have learned after trying so hard and in so many ways that it is virtually impossible to change someone else to our way of thinking. . . unless. . . and this is a very big UNLESS, they are seeking that change for themselves. Generally what will happen without their seeking will be to cause the other to put their guard up, pick up the rope and fight against all foes. In other words, any attempt is more likely to cause a deepening of their current position rather than us thinking there will be some kind of conversion.
I have a lot of opinions as we all do. Yet on topics that are controversial no matter what country you're in, I keep it to myself unless, and only unless, I am asked specific questions demonstrating at least on the surface that that person is seeking. Then, I will share my point of view, otherwise, it will amount to nothing.
Somehow we think that in relationships, including marriage, that we need to think alike. That's garbage. Have things in common? That can be helpful, but believe all the same things? Garbage. It's even a waste of time to consider that fantasy. Knowing what I know now, I can see how one spouse may agree on the surface, and yet withhold the true feelings for the sake of superficial harmony. It's okay. It's better to accept that we can disagree and still live in harmony, because we can, and we must because no two of us will ever think exactly alike.
If you're trying to convince another, it is better to allow them to change themselves. Take your time. Let it be. It's okay. Even different religions can get along nicely while holding different views, yet allowing some similarities to bring us partially together. It is much more beneficial than thinking we may convert them without their full and complete permission and agreement.
We Have More Than Plenty To Focus On Just Dealing Effectively With Ourselves.
Spread Some Joy Today--Bang a gong, get it on! Or, what the heck, just enjoy your day as fully as you can today. That's all that really matters.