The most valuable lessons
I have ever learned in my life!
"'Til death do you (us, we) part."
-- an interesting phrase that is
is common in marriage ceremonies.
[Classic post from 9-1-16]
I wonder how many marriage ceremonies I've seen on television and in movies. It must be several thousand. In addition, the many different types of marriage vows made were also interesting, and, of course, full of challenging expectations of each other, as well as devoid of real-life experience, claiming an imaginary duration and outcome.
I'm not being negative about marriage, even though, according to statistics, only about half survive without divorce. Frankly, having been married twice myself, I'm amazed that the divorce rate is not higher, especially if we compared that to the unreal expectations at the marriage ceremony.
It's interesting how things just pop into my head, and when I'm awake and alert, I might even write them down. This morning, as I was considering this Daily Inspiration among several hundred other thoughts, I wrote down a marriage vow that made sense to me from my experience, and from my gained wisdom of living into my sixties. Here it is, for what it's worth:
"I am me. I have likes and dislikes. I lean toward the likes and away from the dislikes. Where our likes intersect, we can experience a sense of oneness. Where they do not intersect, yet are similar in nature, we can be in harmony. Where they are not complimentary, we may enjoy periodic cooperation, or where they are not, we can enjoy mutual freedom and respect. In all, within and without, I am now, and will be loving without condition, secure in myself in peace."
That works perfectly for me and I think it would work equally well for others. If we can say that to each other and have it come from the heart, there is nothing but love, regardless of the longevity. Divorce would only mean a change in focus and temporary location.
I grew up with two nasty divorces. The divorces weren't a bad thing, but I saw the nastiness as completely unnecessary and foreign to my psyche. I vowed it would never happen that way to me. It hasn't. It won't. It could never be.
Why? Because I learned one of the most valuable lessons that have guided my life: Love is not really love if it can be something other than love. In other words, love could never turn into hate. Love is the equivalent vibration of freedom, empowerment, joy, and appreciation. It vibrates there. Anger, hate, distrust, powerlessness vibrate at a much different frequency. They are incompatible. If you love, you love. If you love, you forgive. If you love, you allow. If you love, you are not attached and do not cling (despair). If you love, you will always love. Love does not require circumstances for itself. It is. Regardless of circumstances.
I simply have to repeat one of my all-time favorite quotes by one of my lifelong mentors, Wayne Dyer, where he gave the single best definition of unconditional love I've ever read: "Love is the ability and willingness to allow others that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."
In the immediacy of the situation, one can dislike the choices that another will choose to make, but love is the ability, and the willingness, to allow those choices to be acceptable, to be perfect for them, because they were made by the other person, and because love carries no insistence, no demands, to satisfy me, or then withhold my love and respect. If that were the case, it would not be love. It would not be freedom. It would not be appreciation. It would not be empowerment. It would not be joy. It would be some other vibration--something else entirely.
I Have Learned What Love Means To Me. Simply One Of The Most Powerful Lessons I Could Ever Have Learned.
Spread Some Joy Today--by loving who you are, where you are, with whom you are in the presence of.