"Happiness based on condition
is like building a house
on a sandbar at low tide."
-- Albert K. Strong
[Classic post from 10-11-16]
Many have decided that their happiness is based on conditions. They say, "I am happy when __________," or "I will be happy when ________," This makes me happy," or "He or she makes me happy," or "To me, happiness is _________." All of these are based on conditions, and if the conditions don't show up, what then?
I've often said that happiness is a choice, it is not a destination. It truly is a choice, and if it is left up to the whims of conditions, happiness is a hit and miss affair at best. Some of the most popular songs in all of songdom are based on conditions making us happy or unhappy. To live happily ever after is a common phrase, and based on the divorce rate, that would be a lot of unhappily ever after candidates. But even those who haven't divorced may be seeing that happily ever after is merely an idealism. And, besides, divorce only creates unhappiness if we decide that it does.
Abraham, Esther Hicks demonstrates that happiness is a personal choice this way: "The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy." That would also broaden to include not just anyone else, but anything else as well.
Conditions are constantly changing. We don't run the world, the world is running on its own. We are creating some conditions perhaps, but by and large, there are a massive number and types of conditions that we are not controlling. I love John Mayer's song, where he says they're "waiting on the world to change." That could be a while. Probably never.
Love is the same way because love and happiness are similar vibrations. As everything is as we prefer it, we are in love, and when the other does something that really upsets us, we are no longer in love, it is very much conditional love. If they are faithful, I will love them, and if they are unfaithful, I will despise them, or it could be a million things that are much less traumatic that turn us off. Of course, that's a good way to visualize conditional love or conditional happiness, as a light switch that is turned on and then turned off, turned on again, then off again, and so on. Light, dark. Feel good, feel bad. In love, out of love. Respect, no respect. With unconditional happiness, we turn the switch on, then we seal the switch inside the wall so we can't turn it off.
Conditions are challenging. In fact, I would have to say that as long as we leave it to conditions, we could never be happy or in love for very long. And, it's okay to live that way, as most of us do. But, what if we chose unconditional happiness instead? Could we live a life of unconditional happiness? I think, yes. We simply decide to be happy no matter what. If we give in to what, we can recommit to be happy regardless of what. As we practice being happy without what calling the shots, we become unconditionally happy. Conditions no longer decide. We decide. We have the power. The only question remains is will we choose it or not.
Michael Singer, from his book, The Untethered Soul, says, "If you want to be happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama. This is the part that thinks there's a reason not to be happy. . . .The question is simply "Do you want to be happy?" If the answer is really yes, then say it without qualifying it. . . .You have to give it an unconditional answer. . . .The real question is whether you want to be happy regardless of what happens."
What would your life be like if you practiced unconditional happiness? Unconditional love? Unconditional appreciation? It wouldn't be without challenges, but the sincere practice of it makes it easier and more consistent until the challenges have no effect anymore.
The Happy Place Is Within, Not Without.
Spread Some Joy Today--but deciding to do so.