"Whenever you feel compelled
to put others first
at the expense of yourself,
you are denying your own reality,
your own identity."
-- David Stafford
This idea of sacrificing self for another is strangely interesting. Richelle Mead in Bloodlines says as Eddie, "I want her to be happy. It's worth sacrificing myself." Oh, and here's a good one: Jodi Picoult in Handle With Care, said, "Doing the right thing for someone else occasionally means doing something that feels wrong to you." Then there is the perfect lover from Kris Vallotton: "You can sacrifice and not love. But you cannot love and not sacrifice." And, I end the selfless quotes with this idealistic bit by Honore de Balzac from Pere Goriot: "Some day you will find out that there is far more happiness in another's happiness than in your own."
This whole idea of selfless sacrifice by living a life of pain in hopes of the promised land in the afterlife is about as strange as it gets, let alone marching through the valley of death toward the mirage we think will save us. Silliness all. In my opinion, of course. I've already shown a number of opinions that disagree with me.
So, I have one question: What about me? What about you? What about us? Not really three questions, just one in three perspectives, all of which are we. What about our own happiness? Do we not count? Or should we wait for the person or persons who will sacrifice themselves for us and save us? Hmmmm. Might be a while.
Getting closer to my point, I state that we are, at the very least, as important as anyone else. And, when it comes to love, or loving others, what about loving ourselves? Even Jesus said to love others as we love ourselves. You know, put your oxygen mask on first, and then help the one next to you--even when they are the closest of family. We count. We matter. It's important to be careful with the whole idea of sacrifice and how far we might go in thinking sacrifice so closely relates how much we love, because loving others more than we love ourselves is not a good thing; albeit, it sounds very altruistic.
I was briefly talking with a friend yesterday about a situation that could very easily be upsetting, causing anger, frustration and more. I laughed and told him that I just don't swim upstream hardly ever anymore. My happiness and feeling good is the most important thing to me now. I love feeling good. I love being happy. So I quickly move away from things, people, situations that will encourage otherwise.
Sometimes it is important to help others, perhaps even putting some of our desires in a temporary holding pattern, yet if we don't pay attention to how we are feeling and find it important to find ways to feel good, the help will be of somewhat less value to the receiver, and very detrimental to ourselves. Love is not sacrifice and sacrifice is not love. Love is much bigger than this. I can love people unconditionally, and not want to be around them because I allow them to be as they choose to be without any insistence that they satisfy me; however, it is my own responsibility to love myself enough to care for myself and my own happiness of which I am equally entitled.
Love Begins Within And Emanates From There.
Spread Some Joy Today--by loving yourself enough to choose your own happiness, joy and peace.