"There is no reason
to deliberately stir up problems
in order to stir up solutions."
-- Abraham, Esther Hicks
Sometimes a friend, or loved one is, in our opinion, going off course, and we want to be of assistance to help get them back on track. They are focused on problems and we want solutions, but often, the problems are the dominant discussion in our communications with them. It is what is, after all. It is easy to discuss what is. We often call that reality, truth, what is real, what is. Yet, regardless of how adept we get at discussing or analyzing the problem, the solutions can only come by turning away from the problem and on to the potential solutions.
We want to help. It's a friend. It's a family member. It's a loved one. It's natural to want to help, but again, what is typically done here is discussing the problems at length.
Abraham, Esther Hicks explains, "If you allow yourself to be the sounding board for your friend's problems, your power of influence will be paltry, and you will be of no value to your friend."
"You are of no discernible assistance to your troubled friend unless you are able to focus in the direction of the solution. In the direction of what he wants, or in the direction of what you desire for him. If you are determined to feel good and are able to focus in the direction of improvement for him despite his continual prodding at this problem, your power of influence toward improvement will be powerful."
They continue: "It is important to realize that the negative emotion that you often feel when you are worried about a troubled friend is actually present because your focus is pulling you apart from yourself. Your friend may be the reason for your focus, but your friend is not the reason you are pulling against yourself. Your focus is the reason for that. Looking for positive aspects and expecting good outcomes for your friends is the only way you can be of value to them, for there is no action that you can offer that is strong enough to buck your current of negative attention."
Without a doubt in me, the most important and depth-reaching part of the Teachings of Abraham, is what they call the Emotional Guidance System. In simple terms, when we are feeling positive emotions, we are in alignment with our inner being, the God within, or whatever terminology for that you prefer. They prefer Inner Being just to keep it simple. And, when we are feeling negative emotion, that emotion is an indication of being out of alignment with our Inner Being. You could also use the term Inner Knowing, or God Connection.
Sometimes people say to me that feeling good is not the end all. No, that would be constant negative emotion. But, what they mean is that the emotions are not a guidance system at all, but only something we feel. Yet, if you were to test it for a time in earnest, I am convinced you will find that what they are teaching and I am expressing is a perfect and accurate description of how to control our own lives, and how to be an influence on others.
When we look at a friend or loved one--in fact, whatever we focus on--will cause us to have thoughts about what we are seeing or experiencing. And those thoughts as compared to our Inner Being's thoughts about us, are either a match or within a similar vibrational vicinity, or they are not. When they are, we could be said to be following God's will for us, being guided by Angels, or the Universal Mind. When we are not in alignment, we are resisting, struggling, and the negative emotion we are feeling is that indication.
As we see a friend or relative in a place that looks painful for them, and it is also for us if we focus on where they are, we are pretty much helpless to be of assistance, but when we focus on our own alignment first, as in the airline instructions to put your oxygen mask on first, then help others, we can be of service. Then from our own alignment, we can imagine the friend or loved one in the place that is in their best interests for themselves, or in our best imagining of our vision of that healthy, and joyous, whole person.
As we pay attention to this guidance, our lives get better and better and better, and those around us get better and better and better. Those that don't, disappear.
Being Helpful Means Focusing On The Help, Not The Hurt.
Spread Some Joy Today--by creating your own joy, then sharing it with the world around you.