"In any relationship
in which two people become one,
the end result is two half people."
-- Wayne Dyer
I've seen this quote many times and I didn't quite get it; that is, it didn't strike me as significant. This morning as I read it again, all of a sudden, and along with studying the teachings of Abraham, Esther Hicks, it made perfect sense to me.
In the movies and the romantic novels, and really, all around us are images of people living for the other. "I know I can make you happy," or "I know you will make me happy," and the ever-popular, "you complete me," are common phrases that are tell tale signs of living for the other. And, it isn't really in service to another as much as trying to change the other, as in when she is sad, he will make her happy, or when he is angry, she will bring him back to happiness. At the wedding, they were committed to being as one. The two candles lighting the one and so on. But, what it really is would be two half people.
When we choose to come into alignment with our own inner being, our inner knowing, the God within, or whatever phrase works for you, we get to be whole. Then as we invite in that person who is also in alignment with their inner being, we can be one in a very different way. We're not trying to change the other, but enjoying ourselves and the other. We're not trying to make them happy because that isn't our job, nor is it even possible. Only I can make myself happy, by choosing to be happy. At the same time being unhappy is that same type of choice. What I can do is to be an influence by example. The other can only choose for themselves, as I can only choose for myself.
This is where the word harmony is a great way to describe a wonderful relationship. Being in harmony with each other while being in alignment with ourselves is as good a place that relationships can get I think. As we have no real power to 'make' the other into anything or to act in any particular way, we allow them to be who they are, while we do the same for ourselves. It is only our own example that has any influence toward a change in the other.
Some say this is a selfish point of view by focusing on ourselves, yet this is not arrogance or conceit, it is wholeness. Now when we come together with another interested party, there is a perfect field for harmony and joy. And, whenever the other is not seemingly in alignment with us, we allow them to be as they choose, while we demonstrate by example our own inner connection.
I've now had enough experience in relationships to see this grand difference and embrace the improved possibilities.
I've been talking about romantic relationships mainly, and guess how many other kinds of relationships this concept can be of the same benefit for? Whew! That's a lot!
Relationship Wisdom Is Looking Within And Being First, One With Ourselves.
Spread Some Joy Today--by allowing others to choose for themselves while you choose as you will.