"Deficiency motivation doesn't work.
It will lead to a life-long pursuit
of try to fix me.
Learn to appreciate what you have
and where and who you are."
-- Wayne Dyer
Often my learning is bits and pieces, answering part and yet still lacking the fullness of the "ah-ha" kind of understanding that comes when all of a sudden those pieces come together and form a new perspective. I had one of those today, early this morning when I first looked in the mirror in the bathroom.
For a couple of years now, I have been looking in that mirror and finding affirmations of praise on what I see. Louise Hay of Hay House taught that and it helps, though it isn't a quick fix, but a travel in the right direction.
The trouble is that it isn't or wasn't real enough. Instead, after my affirmation in the mirror, I would go back to thinking of how much weight I've gained in the last couple of years (or is it 3 or 4 years, I forget), and then thinking I need to do something like watch calories (which I do as they go down my throat), go on a diet (not another one), actually get on my exercise equipment rather than hang shirts on it, actually use my gym membership, and well, you know, maybe you can relate, or not.
And, if it isn't weight management, maybe it is finances, getting along with co-workers, getting a better job, or any number of a hundred things that we might beat ourselves up about on an hourly basis over long periods of time. How's that working for you? I know how it works for me, it just makes it harder and more of a problem. I try to meditate and let go of the resistance of it, and then I get it back. It's much like an addiction.
The "ah-ha" experience this morning gave me a whole new perspective, and it is so closely tied to this quote above by Wayne Dyer because I've been and many others I know have been using deficiency motivation, or trying to, on ourselves. It doesn't work, and if there is any progress from it, more than likely everything goes back to the way it was before all too quickly.
Here was the new realization I had: I'm perfect at this moment. There is nothing wrong with me at this moment. I accept myself as I am in this moment. I accept that I have created myself the way I am in this moment. And, it is good. I am perfect just the way I am, with what I have, with where I am and who I am in this moment.
Eckhart Tolle says it this way: "The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace." That is how I felt this morning and it is a very different thought than I have had about myself, ever.
To think that we have to be unhappy with ourselves in order to change has been a bad message. We don't. What works better than deficiency motivation is love. We can be perfect in this moment and in the next moment make a change if desired. Accepting ourselves and circumstances, or our environment is the best place to start. By acceptance, the judgment is gone. This does not stop us from exercising a choice at any time. It's a higher jumping off point than being beat down and trying to rise.
I accept the perfection of this moment and of me and all that this entails at this moment. I accept that I have chosen whether by default or on purpose. I am here this moment because I have chosen it. I am responsible and I delight in that perfection at this moment. Whatever comes in the next moments will come in its time. Right now, right here, I am well, and I feel good.
"Everything Is Perfect In The Universe--Even Your Desire To Improve It." -- Wayne Dyer
Spread Some Joy Today--Delight in your own perfection. Accept where you are and who you are right now. As Eckhart Tolle said, in so doing, "you have made room for love, for joy, for peace."