"If you want to see the brave,
look at those who can forgive.
If you want to see the heroic,
look at those who can love in return for hatred."
-- Bhagavad Gita
In yesterday's CTS Daily Inspiration, I referenced Albert Ellis's quote that began, "the best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own." Today I was thinking of some I know who focus so much on someone else as a demon in their life that they hold tightly to this grudge against them for affecting their life and continuing to affect their life negatively. Not only can they not forgive, but worse, they can't forget. Ever been around someone like that? Probably not for long, because it surely isn't very pleasant.
I like how Brian Tracy talks of forgiveness: "Issue a blanket pardon. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Forgiveness is a perfectly selfish act. It set you free from the past." He says, "forgive everyone who has ever hurt you in any way." That would include parents, grandparents, ex-spouses, ex-bosses, ex-friends.
But, is that enough? Just forgiveness? Letting it go? Laying it down? Giving up your persecution of the wrongdoers?
Have you ever loved someone who has wronged you? Have you ever not only let it go and forgave them, but also had compassion on them and loved them and all of a sudden cared for them as human beings as if they were separated from their actions? Have you ever done that even if they have not stopped their wrongdoing?
The thing that we somehow forget is that we need to own our own feelings, and realize that they are our feelings and that we created the feeling inside us. The outside stimulus was only a trigger that we allow or disallow to affect how we feel about others and more importantly, about ourselves.
So, in not forgiving, in holding on, in continually thinking about being a victim of others acts or words, we are the ones carrying the burden. And, make no mistake, it is a burden. Forgiveness may be likened to closing the door on the subject, but loving is more like opening the door to a warm Spring breeze and healing sunshine.
The Greatest Revenge Is A Mutual Healing.
Spread Some Joy Today--Turn around for a short while and look behind you. Who is there that you are refusing to love and forgive? Recognize that it is now time to do so.