"Anxiety doesn't attack."
"The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist
independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist
in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do."
"Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy."
-- Dr. Wayne Dyer
We can certainly feel the emotions of anxiety, stress, fear, anger and unhappiness, but many, if not most of us, were taught that there is always something outside of ourselves to blame for this. People say, "it's so stressful at work," or "I don't need this extra stress!" or, "that guy sure knows how to push my buttons," and other such statements. It would seem by those statements that stress is being issued unevenly, or that it is running around looking for a victim to stress-out.
If we really think about these, it is easy to see that they don't really exist except as a response within ourselves to. . . not something or someone else, but from our own thinking. Something is said or experienced and we react to it. Maybe the reaction is automatic since we learned it so long ago, or sometimes we react in a way that we think is appropriate, even though in reality, we may not feel that way at all. For example, maybe someone is crying and showing sadness at a funeral, but they really don't feel that way if it weren't for the people around them expecting them to feel that way. It might be easier to just follow the "rules" though they may not be your own.
The analogy of "pushing my buttons," is a good way to see the action of these emotions, except it isn't someone else pushing our buttons, it is ourselves pushing them. I've said this before, but I used to get angry in traffic and cuss at the people doing stupid things and get all uptight. It didn't help and it didn't serve me. One day, I decided to stop it and just say to myself, "that's an interesting way to do that! I wouldn't have thought of doing it that way." With a bit of practice, I never get upset in traffic anymore. But, it wasn't the other drivers pushing my buttons, it was my reaction (my own emotions from my thinking) to what they did and I became upset (I upset myself). It was a stimulus-response scenario. Maybe I can't change the stimulus, but I know for certain that I can change the response, and I do that by changing my thoughts about it.
This is the way to change anything. Feeling stressful? We can change our thinking and our response the the stimulus that we were previously reacting automatically to. Same applies to anger, anxiety, unhappiness, or any other level of emotion. It may not be the "norm," but I don't need to follow the norm off the cliff, just because they are going that way, do I?
You Don't Flip A U-Turn With The Queen Mary, You Nudge It A Bit At A Time Until It Is Turned. There's No Particular Hurry. Just Get Started. Try It. Try It Some More. If You Like The Results, Keep Going!
Spread Some Joy Today--It is pure joy to me to be able to choose to not "plug in" to drama around me. I have no need to take it away from them. They are welcome to it. I'm just no longer buying any. The freedom in that is like an eagle soaring.