Thursday, December 12, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-12-19

"We don't serve the world by shrinking, 
but by shining." 

-- Dr. John F. Demartini 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-23-15]

How many of you have ever been talking with someone, researching them on Google, LinkedIn, or in other ways see information about them that makes you think they are superior to you? That they know more than you? That they are vastly more skilled than you? That they have far more formal education and degrees than you?

Maybe you've been doing something for 20 years and then you meet someone who has gone further and faster in far less time than you have. Maybe they also make a lot more money than you. Maybe you think they have it all or at least a corner on a bunch of it.

Here's the best thing to remember any time you might feel that way about yourself. They are also people. In more ways than you might imagine, they have similar experiences and they also have thoughts and feelings about themselves that may not always be self-uplifting. Maybe they too may put themselves below others they see or meet or find online.

Everyone has value. They have value. You have value. When we realize and accept that each of us has value, that each of us is loved equally by our Creator (which is true!), we can allow ourselves to give others praise as we would love to receive praise. We can uplift them and compliment them on their choices, as we would love that someone else makes those same observations about ourselves. We can celebrate their success without diminishing our own.

I have found that when I celebrate others and their accomplishments, the achieving of their goals, living their lives on their terms, I unconsciously celebrate myself. When I look for fault in others and find myself to seem inferior to them, I unconsciously become less in my own mind. Once I saw this happening, I began to do more celebrating of others.

We all make choices. We cannot help but make choices. This is a world of contrast, causing us to know more about what we like and want, which causes us to choose. Some chose long college times getting multiple degrees, others went straight to work and began families earlier. There are hundreds, thousands, or even millions of other choices and each is worthy of celebration from the one making the choices and those watching the events.

The more we celebrate others, the more we open ourselves to the celebration of ourselves. Whatever the choices are, no one is better than another. They each have different results, for sure, but none are better than another.

Which brings me to celebrating ourselves brightly without any thought of we being better than anyone else as a result of that. We delight in our own celebration of our decisions and the outcome, whatever it may be. All choices should be celebrated.


There's Always A Reason To Celebrate Others, And To Remember To Also Celebrate Ourselves. 

Spread Some Joy Today--It's a celebration of joy!

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-11-19

"Reach out and touch someone." 

-- AT&T commercial message 



New: Audio version

[Classic post 7-22-15]

Today, I had several people on my mind and I acted on that message. I gave them each a call. And, guess what? It was perfect timing for all included. That is quite interesting and telling. There are days where I have those urges and do not act on them. It would have been perfect then too, but I wasn't at home. I was somewhere else.

The more I get into all of this stuff about knowing myself, the more I see that I just need to follow the guidance in front of me. It seems to always work out. The only roadblock is me.


Thank God My Guidance Is Tenacious. 

Spread Some Joy Today--What else would you like to spread? I think joy is a great choice.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-10-19

"Who in the world 
wants to hear actors talk?" 

-- Harry Warner, 
Warner Bros Pictures, 1927 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-21-19]

Has anyone ever said something like the quote from Harry Warner to you? Maybe it was stuff like, "who do you think you are!?" or "what makes you think you can do that?" or "you'll never make any money doing that." or "you're just not smart enough for that." or "you have to be in the right place at exactly the right time and what are the odds of that?" or any number of misleading and false thoughts about you.

It's easier to reject what other people have to say after you've maybe been defensive about it for a while, but what if these kinds of thoughts are coming from within? That relentless self-talk, that overly important ego that thinks he or she knows everything that is right and wrong, good and bad for you. In other words, fear.

Well, have high hope. There are a lot of people that are happy to tell you what's wrong, how it cannot possibly be done and a thousand other obstacles offered up for your consideration. They mean absolutely nothing. In fact, they are not even worth the attention span it requires to hear what they have to say. It means nothing because it is not you, it is about them. It is their fears, their insecurities, and their problem.

It's the same thing with the overly active ego. Who's in charge here? No, who's really in charge? The ego thinks it is in charge, likes to be in charge, craves being in charge, but when it comes down to it, the ego is a big blowhard. It has its usefulness, but only a tiny fraction of what it tries to control.

So, who's really in charge? That would be you. The real you. The you that can see the ego as something that is not you. The you that can see that others are not always encouraging and often ignorant and fearful. The you that has the ultimate inner guidance who is the all-powerful You.

The really good news is that when you are in alignment with You, allowing that guidance to flow, whatever comes via thought or action is perfect for you. Not perfect for anyone else, but perfect for you. It is as it was meant to be from the beginning. It is often now called awareness, or enlightenment, which only means that you've discovered it for yourself, and are now aware of it, and enlightenment only means that you've accepted it and now make use of it. Everyone has it. Not everyone chooses to become aware of it or to make use of it. That is the only difference between any of us. We are all-powerful as we choose to accept that power.

I'll leave you with a quote from Abraham, Esther Hicks from a workshop in Asheville, NC on May 1, 2005: "When you find vibrational alignment with You, you personally thrive. You feel good; you look good; you have stamina; you have energy; you have balance; you have clarity; you have wit; you have an abundance of all things that you consider to be good. You thrive in all ways when you come into Energy Balance with You. Vibrational Relativity--that's what it's all about."


Nobody Knows Better Than You. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by relaxing that tension, and focusing on something to appreciate. Anything will do.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-9-19

"And they lived happily ever after. . ." 

-- Storybook ending 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-20-15]

Too good to be true? Did you stop believing that fairy tale after finding out about Santa Claus? It's only in stories but not real life?

Abraham, Esther Hicks gives us some uplifting advice: "We encourage you to decide, as early in life as possible, that your dominant intent and reason for existence is to live happily ever after. That would be a very good career choice: to gravitate toward those activities and to embrace those desires that harmonize with your core intentions, which are freedom and growth--and joy. Make a "career" of living a happy life rather than trying to find work that will produce enough income that you can do things with your money that will then make you happy. When feeling happy is of paramount importance to you--and what you do "for a living" makes you happy--you have found the best of all combinations."


It's Never Too Late To Get Happy. 

Spread Some Joy Today--and it will be returned to you in kind.

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-8-19

"A warm smile 
is the universal language of kindness." 

-- William Arthur Ward 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-19-15]

In a world that always seems to be moving faster, seeking our attention and communication through texting, talking on the phone while doing whatever we may be doing, media everywhere, it is easy to forget to smile. When you are feeling good about yourself, or whatever may be in your vision or on your mind, a smile is a very natural response. Yet we may be going through our day focused on things that don't encourage a smile, and it seems that in that state we are alone in a crowded room.

As I'm driving, I am looking at people out walking, or in other cars. It is an interesting thing as the eyes of whomever I am looking at--even for only a moment or two--and my eyes meet. It reminds me of that stuff about a surface to air missile when it is said to have 'locked on' its intended target. As our eyes meet each other even for a split second, I feel some kind of connection. I feel as if reams of information have just been exchanged, yet I know none of it consciously. It is a fascinating feeling. It doesn't happen often even though I am looking and they may casually look back. The difference is the actual 'eye contact.' I also think there is a big difference in that connection if I am smiling at that moment or not.

Wherever I am moving through my day, whether walking or driving, I am wanting to be present. I am focused on enjoying myself and enjoying my surroundings, the weather, the traffic, the interesting people in every size, shape, color, all their different clothes, their attitude, and by that, I mean relative to their environment. How are they carrying themselves, if they seem to be enjoying themselves, and so on?

As I do all of this and while I am focused on my own enjoyment, I am smiling. Sometimes it is a joyous smile, and other times a warm smile, a waning smile, and so on. I'm curious, but not focused on who may be receiving my smile. How many times during your day does someone's smile brighten your day just a little bit? What an easy way to make a difference and lift others up.

Since I've decided that my predominant goal in my life is to simply enjoy myself, I find myself smiling, laughing, feeling joy so often. Whether I am at my computer doing Internet work for our clients, driving around doing errands, walking about, I am focused on enjoying myself. Yesterday was a glorious day and I was reveling in its glory. Each and every day is feeling much like that now. I find myself grateful and giving thanks for the perfect shady parking spot so Charlie won't get too hot, seeing the long line of traffic and having no real need of getting in there with them, appreciating my car and my truck and how well they perform, the scenery of Northern California, the weather whatever it may be. I find myself giving thanks and finding so many things to be in appreciation of. 


All Of This With A Smile. I'm In Heaven Right Here. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by smiling at everyone you see today. What a perfect way to share your true wealth.

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-7-19

"To know, and not to do, is not to know." 

-- Leo Buscaglia 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-18-15]

Tony Robbins has a great way of saying the same thing that may make even better sense to so many as it did to me: "A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided."

Oh, how many times I have made a decision and did not seal it with an act. In the hot rod pop songs of the 1960s that would be like a 'no-go showboat.' That's like going around revving my engine in a parade while being pulled along by another car. Flash and show. All talk and no go. How many times? Heck, I quit smoking at least 3,000 times. But, who's counting? 

I'm guessing--just spit-balling here, (love that line from A Few Good Men) that a few of you have done the same. Making decisions is easy. Taking action on them is a little bit more challenging.


"It's Not Knowing What To Do, It's Doing What You Know." -- Tony Robbins 

Spread Some Joy Today--by making a decision to be joyful and share your joy, then following through by actually doing it.

Friday, December 6, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-6-19

"If you intend to be of assistance, 
your eye is not upon the trouble 
but upon the assistance, 
and that is quite different." 

-- Abraham, Esther Hicks 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-17-15]

When you give, what thoughts and feelings are attached to the gift? Let's say you're giving money to a beggar with a sign at the driveway to a business exit, which is a common sight in almost any city. Let's say you decide to be of assistance. How much do you give? How much relative to what you have on you? Is it sort of like trying to figure out how much to tip when you eat out? What else are you feeling? Are they positive, uplifting thoughts, or are you may be unhappy with all the beggars around and you would like them to go away?

Continuing with Abraham, "When you are looking for a solution, you are feeling positive emotion--but when you are looking at a problem, you are feeling negative emotion." Sometimes maybe we throw money at the problem. . .

"You can be of great assistance to others as you see what they want to be, and as you uplift them to what they want to have, through your words and through your attention to that. But, as you see one who is down on his luck, as you see one who has great poverty or great illness, and as you speak with him in pity and sympathy about that which he does not want, you will feel the negative emotion of it, because you are a contributor to that. As you talk to others about what you know they do not want, you assist them in their miscreating because you amplify the vibration of attracting what is not wanted."

They say that it is not the gift, but the thought that counts, and what Abraham said now bring new meaning to that old phrase. Can we give a gift and at the same time is actually doing harm? Yes. It depends on what is behind or attached to the gift.

Abraham adds a bit more: "You will not uplift others through your words or sorrow. You will not uplift others through your recognition that what they have is not what they want. You will uplift them by being something different yourself. You will uplift them through the power and clarity of your own personal example. As you are healthy, you may stimulate their desire for health. As you are prosperous, you may stimulate their desire for prosperity. Let your example uplift them. Let what is in your heart uplift them. You will uplift others when your thought feels good to you. . . You will depress others, or add unto their negative creating when your thought makes you feel bad. That is how you know whether or not you are uplifting."


How Does It Feel When You Give? 

Spread Some Joy Today--by giving it freely without any reasoning.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-5-19

"Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed
by the things that you didn't do
than by the ones you did do. 
So throw off the bowlines. 
Sail away from the safe harbor. 
Catch the trade winds in your sails. 
Explore. Dream. Discover." 

-- Mark Twain 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-16-15]

What a great quote to ponder. When I was younger, I would often look back on my life and feel disappointed that I didn't make decisions, develop disciplines that would have had me in a better position in the place I was then. Yet today, as I look back twenty years to age 45, or 35, or 25, or 15, I no longer think of disappointments, bad decisions, things that could have been, etc.

The answer for me lies in a quote by J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan and much more. He said, "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does." I see a world apart in those two connected phrases.

Probably, many people are seeking that secret to the happiness of doing what they like or love rather than what they are currently doing. I even spent a good deal of time in that space myself over the years. Another way to say that is that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It's always somewhere else and not where we are now.

What I learned that changed all of that was the second part of the two-part phrase, by learning to, or rather allowing myself to, like what I was doing. In liking what I was doing, I could see the past differently. Things that I've done became stepping stones across streams, pathways through the forest, shade trees in the heat of the summer.

Rather than waiting for something to come along that I liked, I began liking where I was and what I was doing. Instead of wishing and hoping, I was doing and allowing. I love how one of my favorite mentors, Jim Rohn said it: "If you don't like what you're doing, change it. You're not a tree!"


Enjoy Yourself And Enjoy Every Step On Your Journey. 

Spread Some Joy Today--because joy is your natural state. Just uncover it.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-4-19

"Your point of attraction 
predominantly occurs 
from the day-to-day things 
that you are thinking as you 
are moving through your day, 
and you have the power 
to direct your thoughts 
positively or negatively." 

-- Abraham, Esther Hicks 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-15-15]

In a very short conversation at the teller window at the bank, the girl responded to something I said by saying, "It's hard to stay positive. I need to work on that more." I thought about that for a nanosecond and replied, "It takes no more effort to think a positive thought than a negative one, and in fact thinking negative thoughts doesn't feel very good, does it?"

I have to work at being positive? It seems to me the opposite is true because I think thinking positively about things has more to do with letting go than pulling harder. It has been my own experience that it is the negative thoughts that create tension, resistance, and my body is at work as much as my mind. But with positive thoughts, my body is relaxed, and my mind is coasting in peace.

I still love the life-is-like-a-river way of looking at this. Putting my boat in the river and rowing upstream is a lot of work and has mixed results at best. No matter how good you get at rowing, it is a never-ending struggle with the elements that are doing what they do and not giving us any mind whatsoever. Yet, in ceasing to struggle, rowing is unnecessary, and effort is not needed. As we flow with life rather than resist, we are empowered.

We don't like the decisions the boss made? We can row upstream by ourselves in our mind, or create a Facebook group to fight the injustice of those decisions, tell all our friends and coworkers all about it, feel terrible and unhappy too, or, we can accept that the boss is in charge and make the best of whatever decision he or she makes and go with the flow of it all. Or, the wife or husband, teacher or student, and every other relationship and situation we encounter.


The Power To Choose Is Our Own. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by letting go, because joy only comes this way. There is no such thing as struggling for joy.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-3-19

"We make a living by what we get, 
but we make a life by what we give." 

-- Winston Churchill 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-14-15]

Anyone remember that Bible passage where we may be "entertaining angels unaware?" I've thought of that many times since I first read it and the synchronicity of certain situations fascinates me.

Today, I filled up my truck with fuel and ran it through the car wash at the station. They recently repaired it, and it still needs some work because it wasn't cleaning the rear window of my camper shell. So, when I drove out, I briefly parked, took out some paper towels and cleaned the rear window and wiped off the front one too. Normally, I would have just driven out

As I got back in my truck, I saw a man about 30 feet away pointing at me and coming over. He had an apologetic story of need and someone he just asked gave him a dollar. He was on his way about 50 miles away and found himself in need of fuel. He was driving a minivan and said his wife was in the vehicle.

I didn't have hardly any cash on me, so I told him I don't have much cash. He said he didn't want cash, he needed gasoline. So, I said, "well, I can help with that. Pull up to a pump." He did so, I filled his tank, which came to $50. He was very thankful. I said, "I'm happy to help a fellow inmate." He laughed. He also gave me his business card saying he would be happy to repay me in landscaping or handyman work, and that he specialized in Japanese Gardens. I said, "Very good! As soon as I attract money, I'm calling you! I love Japanese Gardens." I also gave him my card about our Internet business.

They went their way, and I went on my way. At a stoplight, I looked at the back of his card listing his services. I started laughing and laughed all the way home. It was just so funny to me. Though I would recommend ordering new cards that are spelled correctly, I was very pleased to get this one today. It was delightful, and it was worth way more than $50 in the joy the card brought me this afternoon. 

Later, I showed it to a teller at the bank, but she didn't find it nearly as funny. I said, "It's the little things in life that bring me so much joy."


I Guess You Could Say That I Was Paid In Kind By Getting A Good Plumping Today. I'm Still Laughing. 

Spread Some Joy Today--It is the little things. . .

Side note: If he specializes in Japanese Gardens, why do you suppose that is nowhere on his card?

Monday, December 2, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-2-19

"Perception is a mirror, not a fact." 

-- A Course in Miracles 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-13-15]

I was looking at the kitchen overtaken by a lazy bachelor. It was my kitchen. So, I said to myself, "I've got to do the dishes!" Then it immediately struck me that I was saying that poorly. It came to me that I should be saying, "I get to do the dishes!"

It is amazing the difference a few letters make in the perception of the thing. One way it is a task I would much rather procrastinate on, and the other, an opportunity for a nice look, organization, and order. Even though that is so unlike me, I loved the new way of looking at it, and in short order, the kitchen was in much better shape. I think that I'm going to be playing with all kinds of things where I've used the phrase, "I've got to _________," and changing them to "I get to ________." It feels so different, and isn't that half the battle--how we feel about doing something?

Have you ever said, "I've got to _______"?

Try changing it to, "I get to _________"!

Watch what happens!


Perception Is Such A Powerful Tool. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by your awareness of the joy around you.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Daily Inspiration 12-1-19

"If we do not change our direction, 
we are likely to end up 
where we are headed." 

-- Chinese Proverb 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-12-15]

A couple of days ago, I was listening to an online radio program called, Get Real by Alan Cohen on Hay House Radio. He picks a subject and then talks very briefly and then takes phone calls from listeners.

What I found fascinating was how the callers would complain about a current situation looking for solutions, he would offer several, and hear them argue instead for their limitations. It reminded me of something I've taught salespeople over the years: To sell and avoid buying it back. Many salespeople would do a great job presenting the product and then keep talking long after the point the prospect was ready to make a decision to buy. This would often happen until the prospect left frustrated and unfulfilled.

For most of my life, I would talk about being good at what I do and all the things I tried and yet money never came to me in the quantities I would have loved. This is such a common complaint that I hear from a lot of people. We get what we focus on.

Alan Cohen says, "Money is not the answer to our prosperity problems. Wisdom is the answer. The only thing more valuable than money is knowing what to do with it."

Where is my attention? Is my attention and focus on growing the money I have, or wanting more money than I have? Is my focus on the many ways that I do not have enough? Or, is it on the abundance that surrounds me? In other words, am I focused on what I want or what I don't want lack or abundance?

I know in my life that I could have been a multi-millionaire many years ago had I focused my attention on that and learned how to save and invest and make the best use of growing money. Instead, I was focused on where I was. I was often selling the idea of being wealthy to myself, and then immediately buy it back with my "Yes, But" appeals arguing for my current limitations.

Jim Rohn said that you have to start with what you've got and then develop the disciplines that will lead you to wealth. He was very big on giving ten percent away as if sowing seeds along his path. He said that it is easier to give ten cents out of a dollar than $100,000 out of a million. Yet, it's all the same thing really. One has to begin where one stands with a focus on, or intention of, where that will lead. 

In how many ways have you stated your desire and then argued for your limitations? The power of our attention, or like Wayne Dyer's book, The Power of Intentions, is more powerful than we realize. Yet, their equal adversaries are a belief in lack and limitation.


We Get What We Focus On. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Think of it as seeds being sowed on your path.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Daily Inspiration 11-30-19

"Nothing stops 
 without something else beginning." 

-- Alan Cohen 



New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-11-15]

Somewhere along our travels, most of us have picked up expectations of how things should work. For example, how long should a marriage last? Until death do you part, right? Well, for sure for some and surely not for others. A better answer to the question might be until we choose otherwise.

Once I start my business, how long should it stay in business? Forever? Answer: Until is doesn't any longer. I grew up thinking Macy's was a forever store, then they went out of business. Well, let's say it is still there but it ain't the same.

I opened a musical instrument store and had it for a year and a half. Does that mean it failed? That could certainly be an assumption, but that would not be the truth. It didn't fail. I no longer had the desire for it. I had a desire for something different. So, I stopped one and started another. As far as I was and am concerned, it was a huge success. If nothing else, it was a grand educational experience which is useful in my life and that of others 35 years after the fact.

We have all manner of expectations that have been handed down to us, but you know, the only thing that really matters is our own experience and how we choose to view that experience. So, what might be some of the values of a short-lived enterprise or relationship?

  • Creation. We take nothing more (which is really everything) than an idea and then take that thought and breathe life into it (it was already alive there) and cause it to be created in our reality. In other words, it went from the non-physical into the physical. 
  • Co-Creation. We did it with others. It was not a single person's creation, but all who participated helped shape the outcome. 
  • The economy moved. Money changed hands. Funds were raised, expended. 
  • Education. We learned. There is much to learn every single day. 
  • Change. We changed. Others changed. Nothing is static. 
  • Difference. We made a difference. What we did mattered. What kind of difference may not be measurable from our own perspective. We cannot do anything and not make a difference. 
  • Improvement. We made some improvements. However small or large they may be, improvements are a given. 
  • Benefit. We provided a benefit, or many benefits to the community, to others, to the world. 
  • Friends. We find new friends. Maybe even lifetime friends. 
  • Passion. Beginnings are so often about passion. 
  • Love. We get to share our love. We get to expand and enrich our own love. 

This is just a shortlist, and this process of thinking about things in this way is very helpful. Everything we do is a choice. We choose here, choose that, choose an idea, choose participants, convince others, promote our ideas, all choices. We choose to begin, to continue for a time, and then we choose to let go. If it continues to float on its own for a time, so be it, and if it doesn't, it is done for now, and on to another choice.

The most important choice we have is how we want to feel about our experiences. It is as easy to feel joy in having done something as it is to feel sad that it is no longer. Time is such a poor concept on the judgment of our experiences, and time is only an idea. Our living is always this moment, this moment, this moment. How we choose to feel is this moment, this moment, this moment.

I have found from a lifetime of study that to find ways to appreciate, love, and celebrate enhances our experience immeasurably. We all get to choose that or choose otherwise.


"In A Gentle Way, You Can Shake The World." -- Mahatma Gandhi 

Spread Some Joy Today--by making it your choice to do so.

Friday, November 29, 2019

Daily Inspiration 11-29-19

"Anytime what someone else thinks 
about you becomes more important 
than your own balance with self, 
you are in a less-than-healthy position 
because you are replacing your own 
Guidance System with their opinion." 

-- Abraham, Esther Hicks 




New: Audio version

[Classic post from 7-10-15]

A long-time reader sent me a note asking me to address a situation of how to reframe their mental state when it is now in a negative state due to someone's belittling and ranting about how horrible they are or have been. I said I would write about that today as I have had more than my share of experience in this area over a lot of time.

This kind of situation seems to most often occur in parent/sibling and romantic relationships. In my case, they were all in marriage. At some point, I did not meet the expectations (whatever they may have been) by doing something they disapproved of, or wanted to be involved in, or made decisions without them, and more. Then anger would cause them to rant and yell and generally be upset.

What do you guess the very first thing someone on the receiving end of this would do? They would become very defensive. When you are attacked, you automatically defend yourself. Then the argument escalates and many, many things are said in the heat of the emotion that perhaps would not have been said in cooler moments. Feelings get hurt, the pain deepens. There is never relief in this scenario. It is always more pain and it creates a further separation from the other in both the offensive and defensive position.

In Transactional Analysis or T.A., they call this transaction, Critical Parent and Adapted Child. The only thing in T.A. that breaks this circle of pain is the non-emotional Adult (reason, compassion), or the Nurturing Parent and Natural Child combination.

For years I wanted it to end. I finally took the tack that I learned in my twenties about 'owning my own feelings.' In other words, those attacks on me are not my feelings, it is theirs. I can choose to think differently about myself.

I learned that whenever someone is yelling, belittling, verbally abusing you, that it is never about you. It is about them. They are trying to express themselves, but not realizing how much harm they are trying to cause at the same time. Some used to say, "Oh, that's the Italian in me." It's just someone who doesn't know what else to do except explode like a volcano. And, in a so-called loving relationship, that is nowhere near love. It is fear. The opposite of love.

Sometimes people say, "I do this because I love you." I say, "please stop loving me right now!" No, it isn't even close to love. It is way on the other end of that stick.

In the most recent episodes of anger, yelling, belittling, and more that I was on the receiving end of, I worked on not plugging into it. I just refused to accept it. I got good at that. But there was something else going on too. My wife was ill. Two years before her diagnosis of ALS, she was vocally belligerent many times to the point that was way more than anything like normal. One day she ranted at the top of her lungs for about an hour and fifteen minutes. It was ridiculous. Toward the end of that one, I had to take off and go for a ride, but it was her illness getting traction. As her illness progressed, she couldn't talk, so she wrote her nasty comments.

Let me say that this kind of verbal abuse is not something that one gets used to. And, in situations, like I had, leaving wasn't the right option, so I was forced to find a different way to come to terms with it and be okay in myself.

It is said, that you cannot love others until you love yourself. I never really understood that inside. Superficially, yes. Internally, no. But, I came to understand it. When you can't escape the abuse, you have to open your mind. I began to love myself.

That is probably easy for some, but loving myself was not easy for me. I had to play with it, study it, learn about it, and allow it. I'm still on that trail. Now I understand how if you don't love yourself, you really don't love someone else in the way that is truly loving. You can appreciate them, respect them, serve them, but loving has to begin with ourselves.

When we love ourselves--truly love ourselves, the opinions of others have less meaning. Someone can say all they want in whatever manner they choose, but it is all rejected as if it is bouncing off a rubber barrier. When we look to our own inner guidance, our God within, our inner being, or whatever words you like to use, that entity loves us as God loves all creation. Other's opinions have no value here. It is only our inner source and our own love of ourselves in total harmony. Once there, no one gets through to cause any pain.

We are best served by seeking only our own inner guidance and loving ourselves, and at the same time, because that is the love of God, we love those who attack us too. This doesn't mean we need to hang around and accept abuse very long. We can exercise our ultimate choice of who we enjoy being around. As we accept none of what others have to dish out, they stop dishing it out soon enough. Either way, we are the ones who are always in control. If we can't change the circumstances immediately, we always have the power of how we choose to think about them, and consequently, how we feel about them, and the other person.

The short answer is to learn, or rather remember to love ourselves as God loves us, and that love is without any condition, without any reason, without any need. It simply and beautifully is.


It Has Been Said, 'Love The One You're With.' What That Really Means Is YOU Because You Are ALWAYS With You Wherever You Go. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by letting go of the resistance of trying to satisfy others. Be yourself. The best you could ever be is to be your best self.