Sunday, December 16, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-16-18

"What are the real differences
between impatience and eagerness? 
Fear and joy." 

-- Albert K Strong 

[Classic post from 11-19-14]

To some sales managers, business owners, and others who have charge of others to do things for an organization or firm, impatience is often set as a virtue. They may think that when you've got to get it done, the motivation to achieve that end comes through the impatience to succeed. Yet I have learned that impatience is just another name for fear.

What I've learned about fear could fill a book easily, and one of the things I know about fear is that whatever motivation it creates is extremely short-lived and actually counterproductive in the long run. This is especially true in sales I think.

Now eagerness is far more useful and it comes from love and joy and desire. That creates a motivation that moves mountains. It is also long-term by nature.

So how does a sales manager, business owner, or other leader create eagerness in people? You don't. You encourage it. How do you do that? By not leading from fear. Lead with love. Well, how do I make them get the job done? You can't make them do anything. You can only encourage them, and fear is not an encouragement.

How does this love thing work? It begins by hiring the right people. I love the Jim Rohn quote about this where he says, "Good people are found, not changed. Recently, I read a headline that said, 'We don't teach our people to be nice. We simply hire nice people.' Wow! What a clever shortcut."

Once we find good people, then love them, help them, encourage them, praise them, catch them doing things right, lead by example, coach them, support them. In a lot of business environments, many of these things are forgotten in the haste and busyness of the day to day challenges. It takes awareness and some patience to do these things, and they will create the best in everyone involved.

Business And Stress Are Not Synonymous. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by letting go of any and all resistance.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-15-18

"I don't like that man. 
I must get to know him better."

"I destroy my enemies 
when I make them my friends."

-- Abraham Lincoln

[Classic post from 11-18-14]

Have you ever met someone you just don't like? I'm sure you have. I have met several. It's like they just rub you the wrong way somehow. Sometimes, it is hard to even put your finger on what it is exactly. Sometimes it is glaringly clear! You might even have some choice words for how you would describe those. I know I have.

When I was in grade school, I had the pleasure of dealing with a number of bullies. I was an easy target, I'm sure. They were always acting so tough. You know, the kind who grow up to be big, burly men who like to hit women and children to show off their strength. (Just a touch of sarcasm) Anyway, every once in a while, I would see a crack in their facade and actually see a human being in there. Just like me.

When I was a very young sales manager, I had a Chevy factory rep call on me. He was rude and arrogant, never called before he just showed up and expected me to drop everything and deal with him. One day, I decided to say something to him. I said, "I don't like you. You are rude and arrogant. You never let me know you're coming and you want me to drop everything to listen to you." Well, you should have seen his chin hit the ground! He was shocked. He earnestly wanted to know more about why I felt that way and he vowed to change it immediately. We actually became friends. He invited me and my wife to dinner at their house and until they got transferred, we had a great relationship.

Sometimes people might need a little jolt to wake them out of their habitual operation. They may have no idea what effect they are having on people. Other times, you might need to catch them when they are alone and start up a conversation to learn more about them.

I can truthfully say that every person that I have not liked when I learned more about them, I liked them more and even began to respect them, and perhaps even understand them in why they have the facade that hides the real person from most others. It's very much like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. "Ignore that man behind the curtain!" How can I? That is the real deal!

Enemies. Ever have any? People working against you, doing what they can to be victorious over you? When I make them friends by refusing to fight in the war, they can become friends instead.

I learned a good deal about this from a very good friend named Dallan. Why? Dallan just seems to love everybody with such a passion, that there is no such thing as an adversary. It is delightful and interesting to watch. Has such enthusiasm. You can see and feel the love he exudes in his face. He will just hug you until you soften. He doesn't give up. I've watched him turn angry buttheads into milk toast. He has that touch. He just loves people and I think he can see right through anyone's facade. That is a powerfully good thing. Taking an adversary and making them a friend is one of the greatest successes possible in life, I think.

You know, we are all just looking for love and recognition and understanding. The more we give those things to other people, the more we get for ourselves. It is so interesting how that works. You have to give in order to get. Ahead of time.

Makes you just want to go find someone you don't like and make them a friend!

I Can Never, Ever Have Enough Friends!

Spread Some Joy Today--Tell A Few People You Love Them. It Will Make Their Day!

Friday, December 14, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-14-18

"The mediocre teacher tells. 
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates. 
The great teacher inspires."

-- William Arthur Ward

[Classic post from 11-17-14]

In one way or another, I have been teaching all my life. As the oldest of five, I was thrust into this role at an early age. As a teacher, I have evolved through the levels as shown in the quote above. I learned from watching other teachers and how they did things and how people responded to them--especially how I responded to them. You see, as a teacher, I am also a life-long student. The more I know, the more I see there is to know.

Considering all the teachers I've seen, the ones I even remember well were inspiring. Oh, they taught the curriculum, but they did it in a way that had me owning it, immersing myself in it, and loving it. My aim was to inspire others as they inspired me.

What I learned was that inspiration is not a tool in a tool belt, like explaining, telling or demonstrating. It is more a gift that is given to others because you are inspired. I guess it takes one to know one. . .

I don't try to inspire people. I seek inspiration every day in every way that I can. I seek to be inspired. I think it comes from delight and wonder. I might see it in a scene in a movie, a line in a song, a guitar solo, words on a page, looking at nature, the joy of a photograph, or a hundred other ways. I seek it and am open to it and it just comes right in and I am delighted, and in awe of how that happened.

If I could teach anything well, I would love to teach people to be open to and even to seek out daily inspiration. It is life-transforming once you get hold of it. Inspiration is so much fun!

Close your eyes. Think of someone you totally love. Picture them in your mind. See their smiling face. See your love reflected back at you. Let that thought pour over you like a pitcher of it being poured over your head. You are immersed in it. Enjoy it for a few moments. You've just been inspired!

The next half hour will be AWESOME!!!

Inspire Yourself! You Know You Want To!

Spread Some Joy Today--Feel The Joy In Your Love To Others Being Reflected Back To You!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-13-18

"Adapting is not the same 
as giving up or giving in." 

-- Albert K Strong 

[Classic post from 11-16-14]

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned a change in policy at a business that had the potential to have a negative effect on the independent contractors who worked within that business. The management was sternly holding fast to the decision regardless of the consequences it may have on the people involved. It is, of course, their prerogative, and that those involved can either comply or leave as they choose. Ultimatums are harsh no matter how they come and so it would be easy to be upset by this kind of scenario. I've experienced this kind of situation with employers too.

So, some get pissed off and bad mouth the decision and attempt to stir dissension, though that never, ever works like they might hope. Then, also, some just say, 'the heck with it,' and quit. Others may go along while carrying the unhappy feeling with them and that unhappiness shows up in all they do from then on. In many cases, they and everyone else would be better off if they quit too.

Quitting is one answer, and it also creates a question. Will wherever I go now be better? Am I prepared to start all over again? You can never take all your clients with you when you leave a certain place. Quitting may also be a perfect answer for some in that it sort of forces something new and something new might be exactly what they needed. In other words, it creates an opportunity for change.

Then, there is the other side. What if this was a great decision and we might have even made ourselves had we been in the owner's mindset, but we were afraid to make that kind of decision because of fear of loss? I might lose some clients, but maybe that could be a good thing? Maybe this decision that the boss made will create a far better environment than previously existed.

There are many sides to every story and every decision. We all get to respond or react as we choose. It would be in everyone's best interest to at the very least, consider the various points of view in earnest. It could be the worst thing that ever happened, and it could be the best thing that ever happened, and it could be a non-issue, or it could be a minor or a major issue. These possibilities are all there and we get to choose.

The best thing in my mind is to not react. The best thing is to not plug into any negativity surrounding the subject, The best thing would be to take some time to consider and feel our way. If we then find ourselves feeling good, it is working and if we are not, it is not. At this point, a response would be appropriate.

It's Important To Remain In Charge By Not Allowing Others Or Circumstances To Choose For Us. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Sometimes we might think that joy is a result of something, but we could never rely on such a scenario for very much joy. However, when you realize that joy is a choice, you get to choose it at will.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-12-18

"If it's never our fault, 
we can't take responsibility for it. 
If we can't take responsibility for it, 
we'll always be its victim." 

-- Richard Bach 

[Classic post from 11-15-14]

When many of us were young, we learned very well that being at fault meant punishment of some kind, and that caused pain of one kind or another. So, it became foolish to accept responsibility for something even when we were asked directly about it. It became acceptable, and may I even say, desirable to lie about it regardless of how we felt inside or whether we thought they believed us or not. It was like a basic survival learning experience of the law of cause and effect. We knew what the effect was if we were the cause.

Somehow we missed learning the real law of cause and effect and so many of us have carried this basic survival learning into adulthood; albeit, less blatantly. Blame is still easier and safer we think. But is it?

A long time ago I learned about a psychological game that makes this basic survival experience so clear to me. I see it so easily in others and then I also have learned to see it in myself and then stop and get a better handle on my thinking and actions. Here is the game:

Draw a triangle and at one point write the word Persecutor, at the next point (either one), write the word Victim, and at the last point, write the word Rescuer. Now, once you get a handle on this game, you may see it being played by a number of people including relatives. It's pretty logical. First, someone is playing the Victim portion of the game. They need a Persecutor to blame for their problems for it would be impossible in this game to accept responsibility for any of their actions. Then, there is someone who is playing the Rescuer part. They are trying to point out things that can be done to alleviate the problem, move forward, etc., but the Victim will never, ever listen seriously to a Rescuer; however, they really need them in this game. If the other two are not always in the game, there is nothing for the Victim, or the Persecutor, or the Rescuer.

For much of my life, I was a Rescuer. I call it 'swimming upstream.' It is never effective in the game because no one wants to be rescued. Logic would dictate they want to be rescued, but really, they love playing the part. They've grown accustomed to it.

There's only one way out. Step away from the game. There's only one way to step away from the game: Begin accepting responsibility for your thinking and your actions. People will still be playing the Persecutor with you, but you won't be jumping in playing the Rescuer, so you're on the outside looking in. When you are there, it is pretty clear that it's a game. Otherwise, you will always be the game's Victim. (Here's a link to see more about the Karpman Drama Triangle.)

Here's to accepting responsibility! I Create My Own Reality! 

Spread Some Joy Today--See if you see anyone playing the triangle game. . . Smile that you know the way out.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-11-18

"All my life I have tried to 
pluck a thistle and plant a flower
wherever the flower would grow 
in thought and mind."

-- Abraham Lincoln

[Classic post from 11-14-14]

Get a few million people doing this and it is a very different planet!

Let it start with me!

I Have The Power To Change The World! It Starts With Me Changing My World!

Spread Some Joy Today--See if you can pluck at least one thistle and plant one flower today.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-10-18

"If you can't be happy where you are,
it's a cinch you can't be happy where you ain't."

-- Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

[Classic post from 11-13-14]

We somehow think that circumstances, events, money, fame, love, a mate, a nice house, a secure job, or other external things have the power to give us happiness.

It isn't possible.

Happiness is something you and only you can give to yourself and it has nothing whatsoever to do with external things, circumstances or events. The love of our life doesn't have the power. Money doesn't have the power, security doesn't have the power. Only you and you alone have the power.

This is why I love Charlie "Tremendous" Jones' statement: "If you can't be happy where you are (where you live, what you have, who you're with), it's a cinch you can't be happy where you ain't (where you think you need to be in order to have happiness)."

Once this really settles into your thinking, and believe me, it took a while for me to really get this, it changes you as you feel so empowered that you really have the power to choose or not choose happiness. Not only that, but you have the power every second of every day. With that, you can actually see and feel yourself choosing to be unhappy sometimes. That is enlightening! It is so because you can then see how you have chosen unhappiness so many times in the past based solely on how you thought about something.

Once you have this power, I cannot imagine that you will ever let go of it. Though you may occasionally choose unhappiness again, you full well know, you can change it back instantly as you desire. That's like being a 5-star General, you're being so in command.

Is this not the coolest thing possible? To know who's in charge and how it is done? It is awesome! You are awesome! Command those thoughts. Make that happiness. Savor the victory!

The sweet smell of success!

You Make Me Happy? Wrong! I Make Me Happy!

Spread Some Joy Today--Make Yourself Happy Today! For No Special Reason. Make Up One If You Feel You Need To.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-9-18

"You don't get harmony 
when everybody sings 
the same note." 

-- Doug Floyd 

[Classic post from 11-12-14]

I've read some things lately about how there is an awakening happening on the planet and vibrations are being raised and awareness is alive and good thoughts, and creative thoughts are on the rise. This is sometimes lifted up as a beacon to the masses in the hopes that all will be as one in this song.

There is no doubt that there is a shift going on in some circles, and some of those circles may even include a large number of souls. Yet, I cannot succumb to the idea that this will reign in the way they claim to hope it will be: universal and complete.

I have to say, 'welcome to the real world of diversity.' Any time we think that our way is the one and true way, we are delusional to the extreme. There are lots of ways. Guess how many? As of 2013, there are reportedly 7.125 billion people on the plant, so that would mean that the potential for the number of ways might be 7.125 billion.

It's always nice to have some agreements with others, but the truest reality that I have found in my long search is that we each create our own reality. Certainly, we allow co-creators into our reality to add some flavor and color, but everyone the same? Never happen. And, I think the idea that it could happen is pure silliness.

This, of course, does not promote creating problems or ill will for others. But, knowing the number is 7.125 billion, some of that is a given purely based on odds probably.

What it comes down to is simply this: Be the best, most original and unique you that you can be. Live to enjoy and thrive, love and share. To be a part and take part. To share thoughts and ideals without insistence on having your way. The best word for that is to allow and even celebrate the differences.

How Utterly Boring And Bland Would Be A Uniform, All-Alike-Thinking World. Thank Goodness, It Is Not That. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Whoever you are. I celebrate YOU.

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-8-18

"Life waits not for your understanding. 
It calls for your appreciation." 

-- Alan Cohen 

[Classic post from 11-11-14]

As I have traveled through many, many books on spirituality, living in the now, and many other entanglements, I see how many different ways there are to look at the same sort of thing. Each perspective, or way of explaining things is interesting and some actually are quite helpful, others not so much.

It all kind of came together with the quote above. As much as I have tried to understand things that I wasn't taught before, I find so many answers that I almost forget the questions. So, whenever something is so simple as the quote above, I revel in its wisdom, and I have learned that real wisdom is always simple.

Life isn't waiting for my understanding of it. Yet, Alan is right on, to me at least, in that life calls for my appreciation.

It has been written a long time ago that God is love. Somehow I know this without it having to be said, and appreciation and love are in unison.

Keeping it simple, then, as I allow myself, encourage myself, allow the spirit within me to rise, I find myself in such a state of appreciation. I said some time back that the best state to live in is appreciation, and as I appreciate, I find more to appreciate, and then more and more until my cup runneth over with love and appreciation.

To take this down to the very simplest idea for living a great life is to learn how to appreciate all that is around us. If something isn't pleasing to us, we can turn and find something to appreciate. Then, also, as we do that, those unpleasing things soon take on a different look.

Life Might Call For My Appreciation, But I Know Life RESPONDS To My Appreciation. 

Spread Some Joy Today--in appreciation of your own joy.

Friday, December 7, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-7-18

"Live as long as you may, 
the first twenty years are 
the longest half of your life." 

-- Robert Southey 

[Classic post from 11-9-14]

Milestones are an interesting thing. One I recall very well was turning 18. When I was 18, I felt like I was almost 'there,' and my obsession other than the opposite sex was turning 21. But, what I remember most about 18 was that I tried as earnestly as I could to imagine being 30 years old and could not imagine it. It seemed like light years away from where I was.

Then it came. I turned 30 and then 35 and then 40 and so on. Yet, as Satchel Paige said so well, "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" I'd be 35.

But then there was this other milestone that I could not image reaching, and today I have attained it. I am 65 today. Who knew? I surely didn't think it was even possible. I thought maybe I may not live that long, but here it is in real life.

Yet, I still feel 35 in my head. I realize my body is somewhat different. I know that because I have a number of photos during that period. There is a distinct difference I detect from the mirror.

Satchel Paige said something else that hits home: "Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Now that I'm here, I don't mind, so it doesn't matter much. I don't care about birthdays and haven't for a lot of years now. It is what it is, but I am only as old as I feel. My favorite quote about age is by Chili Davis: "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." I prefer to never grow up.

What is most interesting on this day is that I have no regrets and nothing but fond memories of the trail I've been wandering and the horizon is brighter than it has ever been.

Another Happy Day On The Trail. . . 

Spread Some Joy Today--because it feels so much better than sharing the news.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-6-18

"Being patient 
does not mean 
being passive." 

-- Mike Dooley 

[Classic post from 11-8-14]

Continuing with some gems I found in Mike Dooley's latest book, The Top Ten Things Dead People Want To Tell You, the quote above was another one that leaped from the page to my attention.

In this quote, he is suggesting that we chill and learn to trust that things will work in our favor. He says that whatever it is that we want there are only two steps to attain it. Step one is to define what you want, and step two is to show up to receive it. He says, "the Universe does all the rest."

I'm told that a lot of people are not so good at step number one. Defining what we want can be challenging, but it is not going to define itself. That would be the crapshoot theory. I'm also told that many people are not as into receiving as they would like to be. Part of that is past training that it is better to give than receive and such, along with the worthiness thing, and the deserving thing, and the lacking skill or intelligence thing. Yet, these two steps are truly our main work in getting what we want.

Then there is the impatience thing. It's not here yet. It's not here yet. Where is it? My ship got lost at sea? So, if we are to receive, we must trust that it will be, or rather, in fact, that it is already done. This is the patience part.

Having patience doesn't mean being passive as he said. So, we define and then we show up and sleep until it arrives? No, he explains that well enough, so I'll let Mike tell it: "So get on with it. Being patient does not mean being passive. Move toward your dreams while you celebrate all that does work, all that you do have, and how you now are. Be with friends. Spend time alone. Don't worry. Be happy."

Patience is trust. It is trusting that everything will work out. It isn't about standing or sitting on the bench or the sidelines, it is about living our lives. To paraphrase the Bible, "whatsoever you ask, believing, will be done." In Mike Dooley's text, he is saying that the believing part is the showing up part. Why show up if you don't believe?

Have Patience. Trust In God, The Universe, Your Higher Power Or Whatever Word You Want To Use. In The Meantime, Have A Good Time. Enjoy. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by thinking of a couple people that you love and how much you love them and all the things and attributes that cause love to well up in you. Let it gush all over the place. Wade in it. Swim around. Do the backstroke. Relax in it. Celebrate it. Adore it. Embrace it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-5-18

"Forgiveness is only necessary 
when first there's blame." 

-- Mike Dooley 

[Classic post from 11-7-14]

Mike Dooley's latest book was just published late last month and I just finished it a few days ago. Although all the material I've accepted for some time, a different person explains things in a different way, and sometimes how I think I know something changes. Mike uses a lot of logic in his book, The Top Ten Things Dead People Want To Tell You, and the quote above jumped off the page at me as if it were screaming.

We've all been taught that it is good to forgive and that we should forgive others and also ourselves. Mike says that forgiveness is a lie, and that was an in-your-face kind of statement, challenging the old idea of 'it is a virtue to forgive.'

Since he is teaching a new understanding in his book, he says, "With understanding flooding your senses more and more, a new irony appears on your radar: Forgiveness is only necessary when first there's blame. The second lie needs the first lie. Withdraw the blame and forgiveness becomes a moot point."

He goes on to say, "To cast blame means to not understand that you create your own reality, and such a blind spot can rob you of your power to live deliberately today and in the future. It prevents you from accepting responsibility for shaping the rest of your life."

I have previously written about my take on forgiveness is letting go of the rope by just laying it down. The rope is the resistance or the struggle, and that struggle is mostly a struggle within ourselves. You could see the rope as what it really is, which is blame. Blame is the struggle, and Mike is right in that without that blame first, there is no need for forgiveness.

I know a few people who live their life so full of blame of others that there is no peace. They find it impossible to forgive and that is because they find it impossible to let go of the blame they feel. And truly, that has nothing whatsoever to do with anything on the outside. It is fully an internal struggle within themselves.

If you blame anyone for anything in your life, consider putting that tug-o-war rope down. Forget about forgiveness. When you drop the blame, there is no need for it.

"Within Every Situation, There Is Meaning, Order, Healing, And Love." -- Mike Dooley

Spread Some Joy Today--Joy is not something to seek and find. It is simply something to allow. It is your natural state.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-4-18

"There is no such thing
as a situation that is inherently difficult. 
A sense of difficulty depends 
on your definition of the situation." 

-- Bashar 

[Classic post from 11-5-14]

For so many years I subscribed to the belief as preached by the biggest and best in personal development that "if you are willing to work hard, you can achieve what you want." They use that word 'hard' over and over, and throw in a few sacrifices here and there, going the extra mile over yonder, and being willing to work extra hours and become part of the working-up-a-sweat crowd.

I quit that club.

I don't use those phrases any more and haven't for some time. James Allen says that "mind is the master," and he is right, of course, but it is never the mind alone in a physical environment. However, it isn't about working hard. You can if you want to. I won't stop you. It isn't about sacrifice. You can if you want to. I won't stop you there either. And, going the extra mile? Why the heck not. Knock yourself out.

Those old and tired phrases make me tired just thinking about them.

So, let's try some better ones. How about action? Works for me. How about focus? Can't live without it. Let's throw in some enthusiasm and a sprinkle or two of delight. Now we're cooking. Next, let's dance with some inspiration. If perspiration comes, so be it, but we cannot call this stuff work. We should call it play, enjoyment, love, fun, movin', and groovin', excited and looking toward (not forward) with eager anticipation.

You might be laughing at me just switching around a bunch of words and phrases that you think might mean the same thing, but if you think about it, they mean something completely different, don't they? These new words and phrases change the whole scope of whatever it is that we are doing.

What Was A Burden, Is Now A Joy. THAT Changes Everything. 

Spread Some Joy Today--and a little love while you're at it.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Daily Inspiration 12-3-18

"Not only are you loved 
through the packages and bundles 
that are Fido and Fifi, 
but their presence in your life 
is just one more invitation 
for you to love 
as you could not have loved otherwise, 
even as they teach you 
lessons of compassion, tolerance, 
patience, or whatever else 
 you stand in need of." 

-- Mike Dooley 

[Classic post from 11-4-14]

When Nancy passed a year and a half ago, she left me her dog. He hated me, was always barking at me and so protective of her. Yet, I would take him on walks and he was in total joy. Little did I know the lessons that I would learn from this dinky little dog during this time. He has taught me to love more.

He has taught me to set aside what I'm doing because it isn't nearly as important as what he wants. He has taught me more to live in the present. He doesn't ever seem to be in the past or the future, but always in the moment. He is always ready for a ride, a walk, an adventure. Even if he doesn't get out of the car, he wants to go. I take him on appointments with clients and sometimes he sits in the car for a while, but he just takes a snooze and awaits my return. He is amazing.

As I was thinking about all I have learned from Charlie, the little dog, I responded to an email from a friend and client. She sent some photos and I wasn't sure why because, at first glance, I didn't notice anything different than was already on the website. So, after looking at them more closely, I had a number of questions and sent her an email. Previously, she only sent photos with no story.

She responded with this: "Yes--oh my goodness I forgot to tell you that--I always think you can read my mind." That caused a whole other train of thought though it was related to the dog story, so bear with me.

Her response was so appropriate and so closely matched to how my own and so many people's relationships, marriages are. We don't tell our partners, lovers, friends what we really want or need, but we somehow expect that they will figure it out on their own. We think maybe they will see our mood and deduce something that we want or need that we are unwilling to actually say.

Suppose the wife, woman, lover, comes home from work and had a bad day. Stuff went on at work and the thoughts and emotions are running through her head as she walks in the front door. There is a cloud following her every move. Maybe she even vocalizes anger and disappointment, or complaint, but who wants to hear that? Better to find something important to do so that we don't have to listen to it.

Then change to this scene. She walks in and is beside herself with the trials of the day. She's had enough of this day. She sees me (or you) and says, "honey, I've had stuff go all awry today, I need a friend right now. Will you come and sit with me, hold me for a while and let me let off some of these thoughts while I bask in your love and acceptance?"

I'm trying to keep this short, but you see the difference, right? Maybe you're the exception, but I know in my life that we expected each other to figure things out and to be a backstop for our fastballs and curveballs and knuckleballs. Whether it is coming home from work, or in the bedroom, or on a trip somewhere, rarely, if ever does the communication come out so simply and brilliantly.

Charlie does it. He comes over while I'm doing computer work and I can tell without a word that he wants some love and attention. In the past, I might think that what I'm doing was so all-fired important that I would miss so many moments like these. I know I did that with her too. Not meaning to, just not knowing any better. Not seeing the present in full bloom, taking advantage of the opportunities.

Praise be to those bold enough to say what they want, to ask rather than expect, to get our attention rather than give up and go sulking alone.

It's Amazing Who Your Teachers Can Be. When The Student Is Ready. . . 

Spread Some Joy Today--Say what you want. Ask for joy. Ask for love. Pay attention to the moments. There is nothing so important as that.