"Example is not the main thing
in influencing others.
It is the only thing."
-- Albert Schweitzer
Perhaps you've had an experience as I have recently where a place you've been doing business with for quite some time has a manager change, and then the entire feel of the place is off from what it was. It is said that as goes the leader, so goes the pack.
I go into my bank at least ten times per month and sometimes more. It is a small branch with a manager and typically three tellers. Earlier this year the branch manager moved to another location and one of the tellers was groomed for that position and it was given them. He was a very happy man, always smiling or laughing, had great banter, had a unique way about him and it seemed that the whole place was in that flow with him. He was also a wandering leader in that he was not holed up in his office most of the time.
I was happy for the person who moved up, and at first there wasn't much of a change, but then it came to feel quite different.
Because I am a happy man, I bring that into the bank with me. I aim to be bright, cheery, and have an enthusiastic, yet calm manner. One of the tellers used to be very light and happy and now has a busy, serious look. I used to love to go to her window, but now she's always busy and I have to go to the others. They are all great, so that is fine.
Yesterday, my ego was saying to me, "did I say or do something to offend her? Her demeanor has changed significantly." So I let it rant just a little. I wondered if I should say something to the new manager or the old manager even. I wondered for the first time, what they might be saying or thinking about me after I left. Then I quickly put my ego back in his cell where he belongs and asked, "what is my best role here?"
Here's what came of that. My role is to be the best authentic me that I can be. My role is to be happy. My role is to send love to all of them, lifting them up in my mind. That's pretty much it. Simple.
Here's why: First, it is none of my business what anyone else thinks or says about me. I cannot control that, and if I ever tried, it would only mess it up. I have no power there. Second, I can't control how anyone else acts, or how they do their job, or how they choose to respond to the demands of their job, or how they choose to feel. I have no power there.
Where I do have power is here: I can only control myself. I can only control my own thinking. I can only control my own actions. I can only control my demeanor. I alone choose how I will feel in any situation.
So what's my best role? To be me. To love. Without conditions. To not try to change others for my benefit. To keep my ego on a short leash and not let him rule because he is a chaotic leader. Love is a better leader. I learned this long ago being a manager since I was twenty-five. Love is the best leader. It never fails.
We Can Be So Much More Valuable By Focusing On The Power We Do Have Rather Than The Power We Don't Have.
Spread Some Joy Today--by letting love be your leader.