"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It took me a long time not to judge myself
through someone else's eyes."
-- Sally Fields
"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."
-- W. C. Fields
[Classic post from 9-30-10]
You know. . . I get these quotes and I agree with them whole-heartedly, but it ain't always easy, is it? Just when you were expecting that you did good, someone pipes up to say otherwise. Just when you were hoping to get approval, you may find the tide turning against you. And so it can get to be real hard to hear those unkind words or gestures. I get that it is not easy.
But here's the deal: it is necessary for us to be open to what others have to say about us or what we do or fail to do, but it is not necessary for us to believe them, and it is certainly not necessary to allow them to rule.
What is left is just hurt feelings. I say just, like it's not that important--and it isn't, but at the same time it is. It is not important in that this is only a response to a stimuli and we can decide to change that reaction any time we choose to do so. It may or may not take some time to make that change, but it can be changed. It is important, in that feeling that negative emotion is an indication that what has happened was not in your best interests. That is well worth paying attention to, for it can be a primer to a better way: to choose your response (so much better than a reaction) instead of having it chosen for you (reaction).
So, indeed, we do give people permission or not and we are the ultimate authority.
I Think I'm As Important As Any Other Practicing Human Being. I'm The Only Authority On Myself.
Spread Some Joy Today--Take charge of your own importance today. Not more important than anyone else, just as important. We're all practicing.