The most valuable lessons
I have ever learned in my life!
"When you judge another,
you do not define them,
you define yourself."
-- Wayne Dyer
What is judgement really? It is a thought, and as a result of the thought, it is a feeling. It is not something we see, it is how we think and thereby feel about it that says what we see. Or hear. Or experience.
Judgement is also fear. In a world of only love, there would not be judgement, only acceptance. The driving force of any judgement we may have is mainly our ego. It is the ego's desire and need to be right, to be first, to be the best, to save face, to be in charge, that drives judging of another, or a thing, or a situation. Another softer way to look at judgement would be to say that it is an opinion. One thing is certain is that it is a fearful thought, and a fear-based feeling. It is not love. As Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
I have judged all my life, and I continue to judge today. My ego is intact. I cannot lose my ego. However, what I can and have done and continue to do is to realize that I am not my ego, that in the awareness of my ego, I can pay attention to whether or not I am allowing my ego to lead, and then take over as quickly and smoothly as possible.
People fear judgment. That is the ego again. They judge, and they fear judgement. All ego. We want to be accepted. We want to be loved, and we may fear that we will not be accepted and loved, and so, our ego often takes charge in judging others so that we can think we feel better about ourselves. But, as I pay attention to that scenario, the feeling better part is hollow. It is a fantasy. It is not real.
So, how do we become accepted, and how can we be loved? There's only one way to love and acceptance. It is by accepting and loving. The best place to begin is by accepting and loving ourselves. The Bible says to "love your neighbor as you love yourself." There are so many references in the Bible on the theme of judging, and judgement.
We can only reap what we sow. As we sow judgement, we reap judgement. One cannot sow judgement and reap love any more than we can plant corn and get green beans. By sowing acceptance, we can reap only acceptance. By sowing love, we can reap only love. If we want these things, we only need sow them, water and nurture them, and they will grow and mature, and we can constantly reap from our sowing choices.
My ego used to be in charge of my judgement. I would very easily judge harshly of another for a wide variety of justifications. My ego loves justifying all of its actions, thoughts, and feelings. Sometime back, in an ongoing process, I became aware that I am not my ego and that I can be in control. I still judge. It cannot be helped. I have an immediate opinion. What has changed is that I almost immediately, and closer to immediately every day, take the helm of my thought, and choose loving and accepting thoughts. Even now if I see something that I definitely do not like, I choose to accept and allow that my way is not the way. There is no way. There is your way, my way, their way, and they are all a way. This allows me to love regardless.
As with patience, and happiness, and gratitude, how we judge is a practice. I am practicing non-judgement as much as I can, as often as I can. Periodically, I need to remind myself that I am in practice, and that there will be no end to the practice as long as I am in this physical time space reality and hanging out with my ego. It is in lining up with my Inner Spirit that is my strongest desire. In that alignment, I feel accepted and loved, as I also love and accept..
Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged.
Spread Some Joy Today--by finding that love and joy within, aligning with it, and sharing it with everyone you touch.