"Love makes no comparisons."
-- A Course in Miracles
One year ago today, my wife, partner and friend passed to a place without worry, sorrow, or any unhappiness. Last year, I took a few days in this format to celebrate just a few things about her life and I am still celebrating; albeit not so publicly. For the last year, I've been realizing just how blessed and lucky I was to be a part of her life for the last 26 of her 60 years. In fact, I've realized a number of things.
One of those things is that life can pass on at any time. In Nancy's case, she went through a lengthy illness, in the case of my father when I was just 13, it was in a moment. If I look back on the entire volume of arguments Nancy and I ever had, it is all now completely insignificant. Of course, therein is a powerful lesson for all that are still alive: don't let your ego rule. It's not about who is right. None of that stuff means anything, really. It's best to let go of that rope as soon as possible.
I've learned that unconditional love is the only love that makes any sense. When our egos get involved, it is always love on condition, and there are often a lot of conditions and they keep changing. But unconditional love never changes. It also takes practice and I've been practicing it earnestly for several years, and in the last several years with Nancy too. She helped challenge me to practice it.
She also helped challenge me to develop patience, which is another thing that requires practice. She helped me practice patience and I couldn't possibly be more grateful for these two gifts than if they came attached with a few million dollars. They are worth far more than money anyway.
Some things haven't changed. I still feed the birds, buying bird seed in 40 and 50 lb. packages. I make sure the bird baths are clean and water is full and fresh. The hummingbird feeders are being cared for. I water the indoor plants but they are not doing as well as when she cared for them. I'm just doing some of it because it was important to her and over the years, it became important to me too I guess.
I've been alone (except for Charlie), but not lonely. It has been a good time where I could be quiet and learn to enjoy this change. I thought seriously about moving, but decided to just stay. They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but more often than not, it is just over there instead of here. I think having moved 43 times in my first 37 years, that living here in one place for 28 years so far has meant a lot to me.
Though I removed a lot of things from the house, there are yet hundreds of reminders and hundreds of photos reminding me of Nancy like the one I've shared here that was at a Valentine's Day Dance while we were taking a break from the dancing. It was before gray hair.
As I look at some of my favorite pictures like this one, I see the love, passion, and joy that we shared so many times over the years. Of course, as in any relationship, it is not all passion and joy; however, there was more than enough for a lifetime.
Allow Your Loving To Be Without ANY Conditions.
Spread Some Joy Today--Expand your joy by loving all those you come in contact with.