"When you judge another,
you do not define them,
you define yourself."
-- Wayne Dyer
I was thinking about self-esteem, and when I saw this quote from my long-time mentor, Wayne Dyer, it seemed so appropriate for that topic. For example, if we are judging someone else--and the word judging generally is construed as finding fault and then punishing by judgment rule--then what does that say about our self-esteem? I think that it says we have very little.
Seth Godin recently wrote, "It's called self-esteem. What other people think of you is called "other-people esteem." That's a different thing altogether." He goes on to say, "If it's better to think well of yourself, then by all means, go ahead. No need to wait for us to do it for you. Without a doubt, uncaring people can tear you down and make this more difficult, but at some point, you can make a choice."
I think that either way we make a choice. We either make a choice to like, appreciate, love ourselves for who and what we are, appreciating our path and decisions, or we make a choice to beat ourselves up, lament about all the wrongs we ever did, all the people who did things to us, of which we cannot possibly be held responsible, and so on.
You can probably see that in other people very easily and which choices they are making. It always seems easier to see it in others, yet it is good to examine it personally too.
I love that phrase, "other-people esteem." So often we may be looking for others to give us our esteem when that is clearly not their job. Other people can appreciate us, like us, love us, but what value would that really be if we didn't already have our own appreciation and love for ourselves?
Here's A Better Question: What Is Right With Me? How Have I Provided Value And Benefit To Others?
Spread Some Joy Today--Lighten up! Have some fun!